But then there’s this blond one. I left friends at a restaurant table to go to the washroom. On my way back from the depths of the labyrinth-like basement, I reached the top of the stairs and saw two doors: One regular wooden door to my left and one bearing this very large sign to my right. I seemed to have had it in my head that when I reached the top of the stairs, I was to turn right to go back into the restaurant.
I mildly noticed the sign, yet instead of paying attention to the fact that a FIRE ALARM WILL SOUND if I open that door, all it does is remind me of the fact that we had a fire alarm at work today and so I started to make a mental note to tell my friend Sharyon about the excitement of it when I arrive back at the table. Only that thought was rudely interrupted by a terribly loud and shrill noise as I pushed the door open. And it was only as I started to step outside when I put the sign, the door and the alarm altogether in one nifty little brain cell to make sense. I quickly let go and shot through the other door into the restaurant, all eyes on me, alarm still blaring. It was the most perfect kill me now moment.
When I landed back at my table, the room went silent and then Tabitha said to me jokingly, “Was that you?” I could hardly speak, my face was so scrunched with embarrassment and laughter. I think she asked me three times because she didn’t believe me when I said yes each time. Fortunately, we had already paid. As the two ladies rose to put their jackets on and gather their umbrellas, I had already pulled a roadrunner and raced outside. I think I may have left an Erin-shaped hole in the wall.