Some people are born with unfailing willpower and discipline that appear to weave into their lives without much effort. I am not one of those people. I’m the kind of person who sees a commercial for pizza and then quickly hopscotches from thinking, Hm…pizza would be nice…to searching for spare change in the house in order to cover the cost of pizza for dinner. Then I proceed to think about what kind of pizza I’d like and how many healthy ingredients I would be willing to tolerate as toppings. Those healthy toppings generally end up being onions and hot peppers. So yeah, willpower and discipline have never been my strong suits.
However, I am on Day 5 of the Wild Rose D-Tox and I survived both a buffet restaurant at lunch yesterday, followed by a special birthday dinner for my mom’s 70th, including homemade red velvet cake (which I managed to make without touching even a speck!) and I have kept on track with the detox throughout it all. *Patting self on back…hard.*
Holy cow, folks. I never thought I’d see the day I would be sipping on herbal tea while my family drank wine and ate what can only be called the World’s Greatest Cake and not have just one little bite. I won’t lie to you – moments were difficult – but overall, I managed to get through it quite easily, though I did instruct everyone to say only terrible things about the cake as they devoured it.
I am learning some things about myself that I didn’t know I would learn. For example, nothing makes you more mindful of what you put in your mouth than setting up rules and having the deep commitment to them. (Remember that lack of discipline thing? I seemed to have found some this week.) When I am craving a snack, it means I have to pick something from my list of what I can eat, though when you’re feeling “snacky” (ie. not necessarily hungry), it is not always healthy snacks we reach for. Until you find yourself limited by your choices. It’s not always easy. And it makes it hard to ignore the fact that sometimes we’re just “snacky” and it’s a good excuse to eat junk food. And if you can muddle your way through it, it actually does pass. (Who knew?)
No matter how temping other things are, it is clear to me that if I step off of this wagon even for a finger full of icing, it will undo everything I’ve done and I will feel like crap and very disappointed in myself. So that keeps me going.
My hope is that once these 12 days are over, I will have some new habits built in and be able to pick and choose the treats I put in my mouth, more carefully and making sure they are fewer and farther between.
But I’m not giving up my vino forever! 12 days is no biggie to go without wine – that is certainly not my most difficult challenge of all of this. But I do enjoy a glass with my pals on a Friday night (or any other night of the week), over dinner or a wee catchup chat by the fire and very much look forward to that again soon.
Oh, and even though it seems I do have some willpower and discipline hiding somewhere inside me, I did take 2 pieces of that gorgeous, moist cake and threw them into the freezer for myself and my son. I may be on a detox but I am not going to turn down Red Velvet Cake, even if it means I have to wait for it!